Hi. Warwick Capper here. You remember me, I’m the face of Northern States Aussie Rules footy. And I love sport. Good at sport, I was. Still am, even if these days I like politics. I like politics a bit more than sport, with sport I have to run a bit, which is a bit tiring. Politics is just walking about, talking to people on radio and TV. Pretty good. I’ll get in somewhere sometime.
I was getting up one day out of my spa when I heard about Davey Warner getting a root in a nightclub. I first thought “All right, Go Davey!” I was good at getting roots in nightclubs. And I like Davey, it seems like he likes to be flamboyant when he plays. Except he doesn’t wear the right shorts. I also seen what he writes on the Twitters, good English he has.
But then I listened again – he didn’t get a root, he hit someone called Root. Pretty funny name. Maybe this Root didn’t like having his named laughed at. I then thought of where he hit Root (still makes me giggle). A nightclub. Nightclubs are good places to hit people, my good mate Chopper Read told me. Not sure when he told me that, but we’re good mates.
But hitting a bloke in a nightclub before a game isn’t as good an idea, I suppose. You might cop a ban from playing as Davey has copped. Though, only banned from this pissy one day stuff that I find boring. I find most cricket boring, even this new 20/20 stuff doesn’t keep me watching it after 30 minutes. Not enough flamboyance for me. Even though I don’t watch test cricket, he needs to be playing for the Ashes, so it’s a good move to dodgy it up so he starts bringing that bat swinging about in the Ashes. His bat name is awesome – kaboom. I should have had Kaboom written on my bum when I played, get a bit of sponsorship cashola.
Davey Warner needs to be allowed to be himself – he’s one of the only good things cricket has got. Along with Warney. Warney is my favourite ever cricketer. I also like what he’s doing with his look – I see it as a tribute to me.
Davey Warner needs to be the same top bloke he is right now. He just needs to keep on swinging that kaboom bat and swing at tools with stupid names. It’s an Aussie Legend thing to do.
P.S. Thanks to that top chick @danietreg for finding that photo of me and the boys. It’s grouse.
Warwick's World of Wisdom 